Leggo my ego...

This past Friday, I had the opportunity to attend a home church and catch up with an old teacher whom I hadn't seen in nearly twelve years. It was a great time of fellowship and reminiscing and they message delivered was, I think, timely. The message was simply this: "We need to have more unity." There were illustrations and metaphors, of course, but the crux of the message was we all need to work together rather than against each other. Now, I believe that difference of opinion are important and needed in order for a society (and person) to develop i.e. we might not agree on one, or many things, but it is our ability to express these opinions and differences in a civil manner so that progress can be made; because, I believe, progress should be the ultimate goal. I think that where we really get into trouble is when we decide that out ego, not so much our opinion, has to be right. It is for this reason that I personally believe that identity politics has done more to divide than unite, but that is another topic for another time. As a therapist, I would be remiss if I did not mention Freud while speaking about the ego; Freud defined the ego as simply the party of us that interacts with the world, the "I" or "Me" if you will. While that is not necessarily bad at first glance, how many pleasant people with big "egos" have you met? I, for one, haven't met any.

As a Christian, I (we) am (are) admonished to see the image of God in all people, even those we do not like, and should, at the very least treat them with respect, but most people who have grown up in the church will tell you that this is not often the case. It is here, though, that I say, do not blame Christ; blame the "I" or the "Me" as we humans all too often get in our own way.

One of my favorite speakers and personalities (who was also a therapist) Dr. Wayne Dyer said, "Ego can be defined as, Edging God Out." In other words, our own ego is what eclipses and often times eradicates the divine image of God, the unique one-ness that he has created in others. Please note that I am not saying that all people are good, there are some truly evil people in this world, and, as a victim of a violent crime, I can tell that I have seen humanities capacity for evil first hand. But, again, I digress. I believe that it is our egos (when over inflated) that cause many of the problems we are seeing today.

One of the quickest ways to defeat the ego is to practice empathy. It is for this reason I created, (though I'm not sure I can take full credit) I created this little acronym to use when I feel my ego straining to be right and triumph over others: EGO becomes Empathy Goes Out. Essentially that means, when you feel the need to stroke your own ego, you practice empathy instead and truly try to understand the other person or, as Simon Sinek says, "Arrive one car length late" when someone cuts you off in traffic. So, take a moment to do a personal inventory, in what ways do you need to check your own ego? How could you be more accommodating to others? Try to pick out one instance this week where you can send empathy out rather than edge God out. If we all work together, for the good of each other, we won't change the world, but we can, and I believe will, make a dent.